these folks put up banners to remind themselves that every moment is a special event and everyday a partyday.

this person is an advocate of year-round grazing. nutrition is made available all winter by shocking corn fodder around fenceposts to help prevent it from getting trampled. the cows, dried-off until spring, get some exercise and dispense their poop out in the cornfield. watch out from behind while you're tightening your bundles.

it's a wesley willis jam! everyone takes a turn repeating a slogan four times while the casio keeps rocking. this party can get these folks as nuts as pigs in a petunia patch.

there isn't anything blotchy blobbers look more forward to after a hard day of clothing-optional art making than to plop down into a sticky resin chair and down a few longnecks. but it took their pal lynda to identify that even then they're making sculpture...simply by peeling up their bottle labels! these crazy blobbers never quit making art!

this xxx topiary will help prevent the wrong people from entering the blotchy blob compound.

here you make a video using your ice-fishing gear. just take an old sony miniDV camera with nightshot, slip it into a ziplock and you're ready to go. the video itself starts out kinda dull, maybe you see a shadow of a musky and a couple minnows, but this part's mercifully short. all the sudden the camera moves, you emerge from the ice, and there's a naked blotchy blogger and you're digging the Real Stuff. freak frigg'in figural Art, right there on the ice.

this is a duet that combines a seeburg M100C jukebox mechanism with electric guitar. the pinbank on the mechanism is manually set to play all selections. the 45s are modified to play short samples of the original pressing or simply make noise. abrasively-played chords synchronize with the clanks and buzzes between records, and musical passages are accompanied by softly played melodies.

these people are filming a dance performed between two pumpkins with a 16mm bolex.

these folks are adding biodynamics to their three sisters garden by mulching it with fine legume hay.

we've all seen these ugly picasso bull skull readymades with the clumsy mounts. while it wasn't the best idea for a museum piece think what a great high art chicken roost project it will make! you have an excess of seats and bars in your bike boneyard anyway. make sure you spring for some fresh foamy grips for good talon comfort. your art historian buddies will be floored when you send them in to gather eggs. set up a good disinfecting foot bath if they insist on going in there barefoot.

i know it seems like a meta nightmare to depict a person in the act of depicting themselves making yet another thing but how many standard stations did ruscha do over the years? sometimes you gotta keep working through it, man. this person is doing a self-portrait with a 30x36 camera that shows them making a thistle cyanotype that they'll use to cover a tensegrity wig-wam.

to do this project you plant a beautiful flower garden and once you get bored with it you let the hogs root it up. make sure it has some pink petunias and some sunchokes. don't bother fencing it in, this will be destroyed in minutes and you can direct your swine with show bats. this is all about the joy of watching pigs going nuts.

here's a video we made of best-selling author Mike Perry's pigs going nuts.

as many of you know blobbies are sketched in hospital waiting rooms while julie receives heinous cancer treatments. it's a pretty escapist activity usually, but finally i am up for the challenge of placing a blotchy blobber in the hospital as Art. yes, they can be as banal as a picture of a tree or sunset. this piece is performed tag-team style just like the reenactments in the artist is present. it uses a riot-grrrl strategy of lipsticked text along with "i'm sick" sing-spoken with performance art diction. the hospital likes performers with a barbie-doll look. they aren't ready for ken yet.

here's one that's super fun and exciting. you have semi-running vehicles sitting around your place waiting for the salvage guys anyway, so why not do your own private demolition derby! no entry fee, no pesky race track officials telling you that you have to wear a fire suit. paint up the cars like you would for the real thing, you can even use profanity! put something you really care about on your car like a tribute to the super beautiful hot rod rosie (be sure to check out the photo album on this link). get a little vicious with your opponent but make sure you make up right after. this will be so entertaining that you won't give a crap whether it's Art or not. make sure you have complete video documentation just in case.

this is a real-life-super-hero who bikes across the country wearing only black tape, bringing awareness to issues of gender oppression and art marginalization. little kids really react to this Pure Freedom. there's a little bit of the spirit of singer/activist wendy o williams here. despite this heightened level of empowerment there are still instances when the banner comes in handy as an improvised sari.

 

here you dump maple sap on a canvas to make a picture. when the sap solidifies/dries it forms a sparkly, crusty surface. be sure to bind it with several coats of high-quality damar varnish.

this person is training their brown swiss cow to draw its self-portrait in the snow.

this person is photographing highway 10 between forest junction and brillion with a 5x7 burke and james camera. the final print will be an artifact of a performance since the artist was stark naked while making the exposure.

this satan-person is making a fire-sculpture.

here's a project for those times when you have a pair of lanky supermodels hanging around your place looking for something to do. just drive the 1949 nash down to the poplar thicket and have them build a tensegrity wig-wam right over it. the airflyte form makes this super-easy for beginners. here the massage is clearly the medium, since these folks have seen the marina abramovic documentary and know they have to be naked to make this Art. they insist on wearing their special shoes though, which they absolutely need to stand properly.

these folks made an evil-eye-sculpture out of an old rubber raft and some wooden crutches.

this person created a sound piece that uses a big cable tensioned by a rolling tractor.  the cable is being played in two sections, divided by the sawhorse, with large hammers. a whole note and its flat. it sounds fantastic in the metal shed where the cable is anchored.

this person is making a giant dough ball. they poured a big bag of flour into a cement mixer with some yeast and dumped it over the hose. the water trickles through, warmed by the sun, allowing good rising action. after a couple of sunny days this will bake this into a sort of bread. it's a great way to feed "undesirable" wild creatures. gulls, rats, feral hogs.

we made a new rock video about dough that features julie on vocals.

this gets in your personal space a bit. make a fencing-mask-thing out of window screen and paint a self-portrait on it. then wear it as a  mask.

this is a fertility goddess/phallus that you can make out of rocks and old tires. the tires cut down on the amount of mortar you have to use and give this more horizontal emphasis.

this person is working on a sound piece in collaboration with a couple of sheep. they're being motivated by the flash of a 1949 nash hubcap, which reminds them of their grain bucket, but confuses them. and i think we all know that when sheep get confused (as they often do) they get noisy. the human singer is channeling annabella from bow wow wow (get wild in the country). oddly the first ewe we had when i was a kid was named annabelle.

these folks are doing a choreographed dance where they create a 7000 eichen sculpture while moving to the groove of sonne statt reagan.

this is a piece where you store some corn in a 1949 nash. we're planning to make this one at the Kohler this fall. too bad i won't look as good as this he/she beast when i'm shoveling the corn.

this person is making a portrait with a wisner 12x20 camera set up with a vintage wollensak lens in the original pneumatic shutter. just a stupid picture, no big idea here. you know there isn't anything that gets these blotchy blob artists more p.o.'d-off than when you call them "conceptual". it's Art because they do it in the raw, man! freak frick'in figural, the Real Art. no artforum dinky-do bullcrap here.

here's an easy-to-throw-together idea for an elvis shrine. we all should be making these, even though this thing is most silly and kitsch, to keep the memory of the king alive. this person just took an elvis mccormack whiskey decanter and siliconed it into the bottom half of a junked two-piece toilet. then stuck some rocks around it for a monumentality factor. you could do almost anything that has been done to honor the holy mother mary but just substitute elvis instead.

to make this you need to plant a garden of sunflowers and other hardy bloomers and wrap as many holiday lights as you get can around it. tell folks it's for Goddess Love Day.